Game Developers That Should’ve Pulled a Hodgson!

This week has been a tumultuous one for the UK; first of all the Brexit occurred meaning that we will soon be swimming in uncharted waters dying of starvation or something! The brexit led to the resignation of David Cameron – a good move on his part, he’s allowing the Brexiters to clean up their own mess.

Political Leaders Respond To The UK's EU Referendum Result

Next up Norther Ireland and England have been unceremoniously dumped out of Euro 2016 – which prompted the England manager, Roy Hodgson quitting his position within 10 minutes of the final whistle! Rightfully so to be honest, he had the dreams of a nation on his shoulders and he provided them with a shoddy product – the team looked unlikely to win any game throughout the tournament.

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It was an honourable thing to do; quit.

There are game developers out there who should’ve taken a page from Davey Cam’s and Woy’s playbook – and quit after delivering shitty games!

“who?!” I hear you ask – well sit down dear reader and let me tell you who!

Titus Software (Superman 64)

The year was 1999 and the world was hungry for a good Superman game. Up steps Titus with their attempt; ‘Superman 64’. And god almighty it was a big pile of steaming dog shit.

Everything about the game was awful! The controls made the game unplayable, the graphics were worse than PSOne quality, fog was used to cover up a multitude of sins! Well except the appalling framerate that dropped to single digits with alarming regularity. Basically ‘Superman 64’ was an unfinished mess way before it was cool to release those – think ‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ on PC only worse…

This game never should’ve been released and Titus should’ve pulled out of making games – they clearly don’t give a fuck!

Sonic Team (Sonic ’06)

Sonic has been in the doldrums for the longest time and he has been in some shitty games! But there has been none worse than this piece of crap from 2006!

The most disappointing thing about ‘Sonic 06’ is that looked brilliant from all the promo materials. In fact it looked fantastic! The potential that this game had was infinite! What they couldn’t show us though was the absolutely catastrophic controls that left the game an unplayable mess!

When you think bad controls you often think “I can get used to these”. ‘Sonic 06’ though had fundamentally broken controls. When Sonic was really moving the game became a QTE essentially, your input meant nothing to the game. When he was moving slowly or even moderately fast it was impossible to go where you wanted – cue lots of falling to your death because Sonic goes in opposite directions to what you’d expect!

The camera further compounds this issue by often focusing on a background object, the sky or even the space below the ground! Basically the camera would focus on everything except Sonic.

Sonic team should’ve been run over for this shit!

Stellar Stone (Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing)

This game is barely even a game.

Stellar Stone couldn’t be bothered having your opponents cross the start line FFS!

Nor did they think an acceptable level of graphics was important.

They also didn’t put in collision detection.

Or physics.

Or anything to even remotely call this a game.

Yet, they survived to make ‘Midnight Race Club: Supercharged’…

…they should’ve been locked in a trailer for this cock-up!

Atari (E.T.)

So this game is credited with the US video game crash of 1983! Must be amazing!

I would say that Atari should’ve been shot to Mars in a cannon – but they did cease to matter after this game so…

So there we have some games that should’ve killed their developers but didn’t!

Can you think of any? Tell me in the comments!

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