Movember: Greatest non-human game moustaches

Today is day one in my annual Movember celebration. For those who don’t know Movember is a charity whose aim is to raise awareness for male cancers and mental health issues; men are asked to shave their beards and grow a moustache.

Being day one I now look like a teenager, but it’s worth it for the cause!

We grow together!

I thought we’d mark this occasion (and raise awareness) by looking at the best non-human moustaches in video game history. These guys are all hairy legends and they deserve our recognition.

Master Chop Chop (Parappa the Rappa)

Have you ever left an onion in your fridge for so long it grows a moustache?

No?!

Hmmmm, well Master Chop Chop is rocking an awesome tash! Not content with having a tach on his face…oh no this guy has went for the Fu Manchu! This onion has a moustache for days, it goes on forever! what a facial furniture legend!

Chop chop

Moust, tache its all in the mind, if you want to grow one, you’re sure to find…

Alakazam (Pokemon)

Yes this is technically an animal.

Yes it is possibly covered in fur.

Yes it grows a god damn epic moustache!

Look at that glorious piece of facial furniture! Mofo got handle bars for days! Holy shit good job Alakazam, there’s a reason you’re always in my pokemon teams, its not for psy blast, it’s for that glorious moustache that intimidates and arouses in equal measure!

You could say his moustache is magical! HI OH!

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Dontcha wish your boyfriends had a moustache like me?

Beltino Toad (Star Fox Command)

The father of the barrel roll loving slippy is a lover of fine facial furniture. While his tash is lacking the body, volume and prominence of the above two, his brings something else to table; shape and class.

That’s right guys his moustache would be right at home in a ‘Mad Men’ office as much as a speakeasy in 1920 Chicago and everything in between. It is clearly a case of style over substance that is hugely impressive for an amphibian.

Slippys dad

Do a barrel roll? No thanks i’d rather groom my facial hair

Peppy Hare (Star Fox)

Staying in the ‘Star Fox’ universe here guys, or should I say Star Tash universe?! (terrible, sorry) we have another example of a cute furry animal with an amazing moustache. This time we have the cuddly and ever so helpful Peppy.

The older he got the more impressive his facial furniture gets! Like Gary Barlow before him, he got more impressive a specimen for the opposite sex the older he got (like a fine wine too!).

Without further ado – let us show you his impressive tash.

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Fox there’s a war brewing, grow a tash for fuck sake!

Mr Potato Head (Toy story 2)

I don’t care that this is technically a cheat, but this TOY has a fucking MOUSTACHE!

Let’s think about that for a second. A toy. Has a tash. Showing us all that it isn’t biologically impossible for anyone to grow a bloody great tash, Mr Potato head is a role model for all! He shines a ray of hope on even the most prepubescent male on the planet. And for all this charity work he gets the recognition he deserves…a footnote in a blog read by a couple thousand people. I can think of no greater honour.

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I’ve got 99 parts and a tash is one!

That’s it for today guys! Hope you enjoyed our little moustache post! If you hated it let us know, we can stop the madness…we enjoyed writing it though!

Have we forgotten a non-human moustache you think deserves recognition?

Tell us in the comments!

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